Perfectly Imperfect

We live in a system of checks and balances.  But at the end of the day, what really seems to count is how many stars you get, and if you receive thumbs up or thumbs down. It boils down to, how many people thought your performance at work, school or home was perfect?

I got the idea for this speech because of a conversation I had with my ToastMaster mentor after my Ice Breaker.  The thought process behind perfection and why we strive to be…. Perfect seemed intriguing.  At that time, I thought it would make a phenomenal speech… and now – it’s literally driving me crazy, because, this is a competition and it has to be perfect.

The dictionary says that the word perfect means conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type- meaning we place our perfection in the hands of people who are like us. Less than perfect.

I can remember a time when I played sports. I was a softball player. It was my time to bat. The pitch came, in SWING and a miss.  I took a deep breath, it’s slow pitch, I knew I could kill it.  Another pitch came in, and BAM! The ball flew for miles!  I ran as fast as my legs could carry me.  I got on third base. It was my first triple. I was excited. My heart raced. I could hear people screaming with pleasure. It was perfect.  I was brought in on the next play, and as my team mates congratulated me, my coach said, “Great hit, but next time, you’ll get that home run”.

Immediate Deflation!

I had done my best that day, and through all of the praise of others, I only remember hearing from my coach, "but next time..." because it meant, that I fell short, I failed, and I was not perfect. 

Perfection is what we do more so for someone else than we do for ourselves. It’s easy when we are marked by the number of stars or thumbs to tell you how you’re doing.  It starts in kindergarten, as soon as we get that first star, it’s a quest to always get that star. It then follow us through life – think about this. How many times have you looked up a movie, a restaurant, hotel or vacation spot and seen stars? Three out of five, 4 ½? Thumbs up thumbs down. How many would go to a restaurant that only had one star? Are you willing to take the chance on what you might see or eat? How about a three star hotel? Half-rate service maybe?  

Last week, I stayed at a 3 out of 5 star hotel in London. I did my homework and read the reviews (some horrid), and I took my chances. There were no door people to meet us, and no maid service, but it was beautiful, clean, completely redone and actually a fantastic stay at a fabulous price!

We are marred by the quest of perfection that exists in the minds of others, strangely it’s what someone elses version of perfect looks like, not necessarily our own.

I do agree that there may be some merit in reaching for perfection, but I believe that it should be what we require of self, not what we expect from others.  When we try to reach for a perfection to suit someone elses’ needs, we risk harming our self.  Medical statistics show, that people who constantly strive for perfection have increased stress levels, depression and a loss of enjoyment for life.   

How do we get around the need for perfection?

Ultimately, it’s up to the individual to strive to be the best they can be. Work hard, make and reach set goals, and maintain a healthy relationship and standard to be their best-self.

As parents, teachers and leaders. If you know someone has put their heart and soul into a project or something they have done well.  Congratulate them without… “but next time” this only flaws their efforts and the performance and also lowers self-esteem.

Encouragement is always great, but do so with word choices that complement the path that they are on, not break it down. For example, “how can we tweak this?” or “can you think of a way to enhance the performance?”  Does it take more time? Yes, but it also keeps from crushing the attempts to be perfect in an imperfect world.

The Oscars were on Sunday, which I thought was done very well, except for the Memorial of which they did not put Joan Rivers.  News reviews slammed the producers of the segment and show! Thumbs down.  But, Whoopi Goldberg put it in perspective by saying, that while there were a lot of people that passed, this is the last ‘hoo rah’ they get.  Take the time, to allow others to remember what great things they accomplished even if you cut down the length of each picture in the slideshow.”

Encouragement with productive criticism. Brilliant!

If you’re that perfectionist, make today your day to change your outlook on being perfect.  Remember that while seeking 5/5 stars, thumbs up or an A+ may be attainable in the things you do, but the goal of being perfect in life is a different story.  You are a human, not a machine, and we all make mistakes.  We were never really intended to be “perfect” and that’s the beauty of being you.