I AM

I wrote a poem in my freshman English course titled “I am” – I wrote it because I felt lost inside.  I was alone, had few friends and was struggling with being away from home.  The truth is, I felt different. I was the alien in the room.

The first line was, “I am the color of creamed caramel coffee.”  At that time, the visual worked because I struggled with my skin tone, and the ‘creamed caramel coffee’ reference allowed me to identify with self. But, the rest of the poem, was a reflection of all the things that I wasn’t.  Thinking of it now, it was an attempt at empowerment that made me feel more depressed and alone at that particular moment in my life.

I rewrote the poem some years later, and it’s become my personal anthem.  A challenge to self to remain my own cheerleader when everyone else falls away.  It has become a continual affirmation not of what I could have been, or might be.  It is my here, now, and future.

So my words for being wiser, to any person and to my younger self goes something like this:

I AM

I AM the color of creamed caramel coffee.  I AM tall, warm, and beautiful.  I AM not what you expected me to be, I AM one who moves mountains.  I AM a survivor of illness, racism, and hate.  I AM tough!

I AM innovative, passionate, and constantly moving forward.  I AM always thinking of what’s next. 

I AM too busy being successful than to reflect on what I’m not.  I AM seeing all that I AM.

I AM smart, I AM present, I AM ethical but most of all, I AM PHENOMINAL!

At the end of the day, I AM still learning and growing, and guess what…so are YOU.

What you say, you do become. Stay positive and continually affirm all that YOU ARE!  Begin each day with positive “I AM’s”, write it in a journal, on the wall, wherever your eyes can see it.  Become your own best friend and cheerleader!  To change your life, you have to change your attitude and how you see yourself.  Ethically speak to yourself with love and kindness every day. EVERY DAY!

To reach me: 

Lisa Raymond, Ethics2Talk, LLC (ethics@talk.com), (412) 430-3428, or email:  Lisa@LCRay214.com

Business owner of First Choice Temporary Services, Inc.,  Ethics2Talk, LLC, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, and Adjunct English Professor at Robert Morris University

Finding Time

How big is your to do list?  How about your 'personal' to do list.  You know the one that is all about you?  The very one that you say you'd like to accomplish something but never get around to it?  How important is it for you to reach those small personal goals one task at a time?

We all have things that we would like to do in life, but sometimes in the midst of everyday living, what we want to do actually takes a back seat to satisfy what needs to be done right now.  And more times than not, what needs done now is for someone other than yourself.

This can cause us to lose sight and focus of what we originally wanted and needed to do for self in order to feel complete for that moment.

I suggest to you to find some selfish time.  Think of it as time to regroup, re-energize and refocus yourself so that you can be more for those around you.

Start off by taking 15-30 minutes every day to find peace and clarity through meditation, prayer, or journaling.  Choose a time that you can commit to yourself with no interruptions.  This could be at the start of your day, before bedtime, or anytime in between.  What matters most is that you devote time to yourself and enjoy being good to you during that time.

What you will find is that by taking time to get back to you, you will be more equipped (mentally) to deal with those around you.
Try it!  Email me and let me know what works best for you!

It's time to energize businesses and train our youth to work smarter! It's time to (globally) catch up!

If I could show you a company that is a catalyst of change, would you be interested?  A company that believes in doing and taking action to implement real solutions.  We all know what the issues and challenges are, yet the mission is to implement real world solutions that can be used today!

Society has always benefited from a strong middle class yet few have focused on creating a cohesive holistic inclusive solution to bolster those with whom our economy is built.

Education (STEM) is the foundation upon which we must build economic equity and vitality in the 21^st century.

The national campaign is the platform upon which we are developing strategic solutions to many challenges in our communities.

We believe the creation of a culture and ecosystem that facilitates excellence and generates wealth is a major key to empowerment.

We are holding seminars and training ALL over the country - it’s time to become empowered!  

Message me for more information!

Just be like.....

How many times have you been told, "Just be like...."?   More like your brother. More like your sister. More like the cool kids.  Be like Mike.... Heck, someone may even say, "Be like Nike, and ..... 'just do it'!"

                    How many people have you told to be like..... someone else?

I've been on both sides of that table.  Growing up, it was, you should have your sisters eyes. Or you should be more athletically fast like your brother.   I felt pitted against them. And when I was told to be more like my peers, I felt like I was losing the battle of being me.

You see, it's hard to fit in when it seems that everyone is telling you to be like someone else.  To me, it boiled down to, who I was just wasn't good enough.  I went through most of my life not fitting in. And fighting harder to try to shove the square peg (me) into the round hole that everyone else seemed to play in.

I went through college trying to be more like everyone else because I had lost all identity of who I actually was. I was confused and lost. I changed how I talked, walked, and interacted.  I was dramatic, always sickly, always doing more to get attention.  All that work to be like someone else never worked and I never felt like I fit in.

I've even done this same type of 'be like' damage to my kids -- be like this sports figure, be like that smart girl... just emulate anyone - except who you were meant to be. And for that... I'm truly sorry.

I'm learning to accept myself in general and others for who they authentically are.  For the talents they have, and more so for the joy they bring to my life.  The world has become so fast-paced, judgemental, and unaccepting of different.  And while I can't change everyone's thought patterns, I can surely work on my own.

So instead of telling others to be like someone else, I ask only that you be authentic, brilliant and be you.  Because no one in this whole world can share what you have in your heart quite like you - and that is what makes you special!

Personal Space

Sometimes, I just need to get away!  In a house with two kids, I need a place to think, breathe, and yes, be alone!  It seems, that more times than not, people are somehow always around me. Regardless if it’s to write, eat, read, sleep or even the bathroom, the more I yearn for alone-time, the more they seem to follow.

Does this remind you of your life at times?  If it does maybe it’s time to create your personal space.

 What is Personal Space?

Somewhere that you can go to have complete privacy.  Free from phones, kids, family, pets, technology, or anything that interferes with your quest for peace. Your creative corner could be a closet, space in the basement, or anywhere you can call your own sanctuary.

My Saturday Project Was Finding and Creating My Space

I found my space in the basement.  A space about 6x8, just big enough for me!  Because it is in the corner, I had two walls and then an open space. The challenge became how to close up and create walls cheaply.  I went to JoAnn Fabrics and purchased heavy couch fabric in a beautiful green.  I sewed the fabric into a curtain and cut holes in the top to hang from the ceiling. I used PVC pipe, wires and nails to attach to the beams in the basement to hang the curtain as an enclosure.   While this took some time, trial and error, it was rewarding to see it begin to become mine.

 Next, I selected paint for the two walls. Since the curtains I made were a deep green, I chose a bright yellow to perk the room up.  I then went to Burlington Coat Factory and found a great light green ottoman that fit perfectly!  I painted an old bedside table and stuck that in there with a lamp. The result ROOM DONE!

Once you have created your space, name it. Insist that everyone in the house know the name of your space.  This makes it personal to you and for others, it lets them know how important it is to you.  Make sure they understand that when you are in (name) respect your need for privacy.

Set-up boundaries and rules for your space to keep it safe for you.

Rule:  This is my space, please respect it whether I am in there or not. Do not come in uninvited.

Boundary:  If the curtain is open, you can come in.  If it’s closed, please respect my time and need for peace.

Realize that your space can affect your mood and stress level. Give yourself time to unwind, relax and enjoy.

The RLS Method

Going on an interview?  The RLS Method is a great tool to have in your toolbox!  This is something that I created for use when teaching Career Development courses to all ages!  For more in-depth information please email me at: Lisa@LCRay214.com

Research

·       Use Social Media to help you do your homework.  (Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter)

·       Does the company have a website?  If they do, read over and get to know the company.

·       Do you know what the position that you are applying for entails?

o   Can you easily learn those duties if you are not familiar with them?

o   Are you qualified through school, training or previous work experience?

o   Can you get further education/experience to qualify you for this position?

Language

How you present yourself is everything not just in the interview, but when you first walk in as well as when you’re leaving.  REMEMBER:  How you come across over the phone counts too!

·       What type of language are you using? While we all speak “differently” when in various situations, you never want to go into an interview and talk to the interviewer the same way you would with your personal friends.

o   Cussing, loud, and obnoxious tones is definitely an no-no

o   Sharing your personal business or problems is never a good idea.

·       

      Do you know the language of the profession/business you are trying to get into?

o   Are there technical terms that you should be familiar with?

·       

     Your body language (non-verbal communication) is just as important as what you say.  It is the visual trademark impression that you leave with a possible employer.

o   Are you neat and clean

o   Did you take the time to visually prepare for the interview?

Sell:

The overall goal here is to show the interviewer who you are as well as what type of employee would will be for the company.  Two main points are:  Selling yourself in a personal sense, as well as selling you – the business person.

·                           Personally:

o   Who are you as an individual?

o   Are you positive in nature or are you negative?

o   Do you speak negatively about previous employers, or do you focus on what was “right” with the company and your co-workers.

o   Will you bring your home life (issues) to the workplace?

·                       Professionally:         

o   What skills do you bring to the table that will enhance this company’s bottom line?

o What have you done (work-wise) in the industry that will contribute to what you will do for this company?

These are some brief things that you can incorporate into you career development training. 

For more information - email me at:  Lisa@lcray214.com

Enjoy Your Journey

Photo: Lisa Raymond

At a time when everyone seems uptight, angry and stressed, there is no better time than now to calm your thoughts and learn to enjoy your journey.

In general, people seem to be over worked, underpaid, and for the larger part, always ready to expect and accept the worst.  Over the past years, there is a drastic increase in overall worldly violence as well as familiar domestic violence, and tempers are short and fuses can be quickly set off at the drop of a pin.  We've watched movie stars command large paychecks for half rate movies, we've seen the rich continue to create boundaries and barriers that we can only dream of reaching all the while falling further and further behind in bills and basic life needs.

As I'm writing this, I understand how difficult it is to enjoy life when it seems like everything is caving in around you, but, your journey is in your control.  And even if everything in your world doesn't fall the way you want it, not fully seeing the better side of things won't make the hard times any less hard, nor will it make a tough journey any easier to travel.

Living in Your Lane

Life is not a competition. It is not a race, and the person with the biggest best toys does not always mean "winner"! Competition to be king/queen of the hill seems to be the issue of more people.  This is the desire to have what someone else has, or get even better at just about any cost. Including to the detriment to your financial status or quality of health.  The need to outdo someone, especially when it's not feasible or necessary usually puts us in a state of unease.  They used to call it keeping up with the Jones', however now, everyone seems to try to out do everyone else so life for many has become a complete mess. Rather than realize the emotional and mental stress that's caused by trying to outdo someone, we press forward walking down a path that doesn't really fully exist leaving us feeling empty and usually providing only short term gains and shorter term happiness.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being ambitious and wanting all that you deserve and can rightfully afford.  However, as a society, we've taken the general meaning of living at a level that is affordable and reasonable to a level that puts us in a state of economic debt.  This not living in our lane. It's living in a world that doesn't exist for the majority of mankind.

As a culture of people, we’ve lost sight of what is really important to focus on things that won’t mean two cents down the road.  Who cares about who married who, who had gender reassignment, or who wore it best when there are wars, unfed children, and people dying from curable diseases.

What Went Wrong

It's definitely not like it used to be!  I remember growing up during a time in the 70's and 80's where we could leave bikes out over night. If you did wrong, all the adults in the neighborhood got on you and then went back to tell your parents.  I remember when parents were (for the most part) mean, and made us do homework, study and play.... outside.  If you had someone you didn't like, you would fight one day, and be friends the next. We were not out for blood. We were not fighting till the death, and there were definitely no weapons. The journey for me back then, may have seemed hard, but it was not impossible.

Television and radio haven't helped as the FCC has lowered its standards of what is shown and heard over the airwaves. Sex, violence, and drugs have become second nature to us all both on TV and in secular music, that it has become normal for our kids to not only watch but to aspire to become a part of.  It seems with the explosion of Social Media, we have become a society that is constantly and consistently trying to "one-up" each other and out do what other's in their social networks are doing.

This disruption has caused many to live in a way they may not normally in a quest to be seen as something they are not. Social Media has allowed us to all have fifteen minutes of fame, good, bad, or indifferent.  This brief type of publicity, street credibility and misguided reality allows anger to flair and grow quickly as it is common for it to either end up on the evening news or broadcast across Youtube, Snapchat, FaceBook or land on a Twitter Feed. Therefore, instead of walking down a sensible path, many seem to be looking for a cell phone to capture the essence of anger that can catapult one into instant "stardom" only to be mocked and made a spectacle of by the very ones they are attempting to impress.

We all have heard and/or said that we want our kids to have a better life than what we had, but how can this happen when we are laying the path of pain and destruction as groundwork for them to travel.  I'm sure no one wants their child to fall victim to a pedophile, yet we put sexual scenes and references on TV, in music or advertise clothing that is not age appropriate  that put young children in situations where they portray the role of someone beyond their normal years. How can we expect them not to become prey when we advertise them as such?  This is not cute, it is not funny, and it is not appropriate.   How many times have you seen a Social Media Feed where there is a 5 year old twerking and her mama is cheering her on? What does life look like for that child?  Or the 16 year old singing about gang banging because an "artist" made it sound so glamorous? The envelope has been pushed, but really, who wins? Who becomes the victims of life? Whose journeys become tainted?

Life is a Circle

This is nothing new.  Throughout life and over time, this cycle consistently repeats itself. Each generation has added to the negative cycle, and from the beginning of time until now, repeated patterns of sex, violence and drugs have been amplified to the times in which they currently exist and represent.

What you put out into the world, you will (at some time) get back.  If you are kind, then I believe kindness will come to you. If you are mean... well, I guess you will get that too.

The world can be cruel, but it can also be kind, forgiving and even loving. But it’s up to us to change the trend. Pay attention and ultimately, give love.