The Holiday’s,  Self-Care, and You 

            By Dr. Lisa Raymond

           

It’s the holiday season, and like many individuals during this time of year, the focus is typically more about others than it is about our own wellness.  However, it is important now more than any other time of year to focus on self-care so that we can keep breathing and moving through the hustle and bustle of the season.



As we become overwhelmed, we are sometimes less able to make decisions clearly, lack critical problem-solving skills, as well as the ability to handle challenges as they come up in our lives. It’s important to realize that recharging is healthy!  It’s about shifting your mindset from giving your all to everyone else (children, partner, work, etc.), to saving some love and self-care for you!  This can be a pivotal move as a lack of quality self-care can hold us back from mentally and physically not only from ourselves, but also from others we deem important. 



Think about the last time you were stressed or overwhelmed.  How did those feelings affect your attitude in how you treated others, how you did your job, and most importantly, how you treated yourself?  For me, when I’m stressed at work or home, I hold self-care as a reward.  For example, if it’s lunch time, and I can hear my stomach growling, I make myself feel worse by pushing through and finishing a task rather than taking a needed break to eat. Here, I’m using food as a reward system.  I make myself get to a “break through point” before giving myself much needed fuel, thus making myself angry and cranky to others.  I do the same with using the bathroom as a reward system.  Have you ever had to go, but you ignore the feeling so that you can finish doing something else?  And by the time you do go, sometimes you’re in pain from holding it so long! 



What I’ve learned, is that not only is this not healthy for your mind, spirit, or body, it sends a message that your need for relief is not important, when actually it should be!



Change your mindset to realize that self-care isn’t part of a reward, it’s part of the process.  By taking the time to provide self-care you can reduce burnout, reduce negative effects of stress, and refocus on what’s important to you.   So, what can you do? Here are eight areas that you can start providing care to self.

1.     Get more exercise.  You don’t have to join a gym, workout at home or just walk ½ hour a day to feel better!

2.     Small breaks.  Take a 5-10-minute break every other hour.  Go outside, get fresh air, or just walk around your office.

3.     Hydrate.  Drink more water.  The impact of drinking enough water daily is amazing!  Being dehydrated can leave you feeling tired and groggy, so load up on water!

4.     Sleep.  How much sleep does your body need?  Are you getting the required 8-10 hours of sleep?  You will feel better when your body is refreshed and well rested.

5.     Actions that help you feel better.  When is the last time you did something that you enjoy?  Hang out with friends, dance, read a good book, take on a new activity.  Find ways of doing things that you enjoy just to break-up the daily routine of home-to-work.

6.     Nutrition.  Food is the energy that our body needs!  When we miss out on the proper vitamins, our body doesn’t work at optimal levels.  By changing how much sugar and not-so-good stuff we take in, will change how we feel.

7.     Identify your triggers and acknowledge your feelings.  Keep a journal so you know how things affect you, and you can work on the care that you need for each moment.  Identify positive ways of giving self-care through prayer and meditation, positive self-speak, or talk and share your experiences with either a close friend or professional (if needed).

8.     Set boundaries by saying “no”.  Learn how to (politely) say no sometimes.  Know your limits and know that by saying no you are giving yourself a chance to rest and recharge from doing something for others, to doing something for yourself.   The important thing that I learned by setting limits with others is that, by adjusting my boundaries to fit every relationship that I have with others, I diminish the relationship that I have with myself.

By taking simple steps, you can begin the process of providing self-care when you most need it!  For a video course, please go to: Quality Self-Care

                               What’s the problem?

By Dr. Lisa Raymond

It’s 2019, and one would think, or hope at best, that the job market is actually doing as good as this administration says we are (or should be) doing.  While there are tons of jobs available, where are the people?



It seems that I can’t make it one full block without seeing “Help Wanted” signs in store-front windows.  For the past year, I’ve made notes on the types of jobs available. I’ve talked to hiring managers as well as business owners, and I can make this brief by saying, EVERYONE is looking for SOMEONE that will just show up; working at this point would be a bonus!



Far beyond a lack of people to work, it seems that a couple of things are happening like clockwork. 



So, what’s the problem?

1.      Schools and learning – What is being taught, and how are they learning?

a.       A lack of education.  Overall, we have failed our youth.  We send kids to school for what we hope would be a top-notch education.  An opportunity to learn skills that will catapult them into a wonderful career for a better tomorrow; however, this isn’t happening.  It seems in an attempt to make learning easier; the process has become so daunting that students fear learning as if failing is an easier choice. Sometimes it’s harder to get them to go to school, let alone work towards getting the knowledge and skills that will undoubtedly help them become successful (in any field) when they leave school.

b.      Standards of learning Regardless if home schooled or sent to brick and mortar, what has the standard of learning become?  Many students get passed for poor behavior rather than on quality of their work.  It appears that in many school systems, almost everyone passes to meet school standards rather than what is best for the student.  It is our job to teach them how to apply themselves so that they can survive and be productive adults.  Raising the standards of what we teach them, or how we teach them to learn, makes them citizens that can be hired when opportunities arise. Accepting less from those we teach will not provide anyone with more opportunity.

2.      Technology - As wonderful as technology is, is as dangerous as it can be.

a.       Laziness.  Is laziness the new standard of cool?  It seems this may be the case for some.  Technology has made it easy to job hunt from the comfort of the couch, eating chips, and watching The Price Is Right.  Workforce programs have accepted the use of technology as a viable attempt to “looking” for employment, what a travesty. The art of getting up bright and early, dressing for success, and going door-to-door with resume in hand is long forgotten. 

b.      Distractions. Oh look, a butterfly!  Ok, technology may not cause one to avoid focusing on something, but it sure does help that process.  It’s quite easy to lose oneself in a game or on Facebook for what seems to be minutes when in actuality hours have passed.  This is the greatest time robber of the moment.

As the owner of an employment agency, many candidates come in hoping to get on-the-job training, when employers are at the very least are looking for possible hires to meet basic requirements such as: Will he/she show up (on time)?  Will they work a full shift (not leave after lunch)?  Will they be nice to customers and co-workers?   And for anyone that can meet these basic needs is almost gold standard for any company.   



As educators, we do a disservice to future hiring companies by watering down learning to make them (students) happy.   All jobs have basic needs of which I listed above. It is up to us to teach students the importance of showing up and being on time as well as any relevant skills needed to complete the job requirements.  It’s time to level up and take learning to new heights!